Brick, poem revised

Just had a go at revising this.  I think it is in its final form.  But then, I usually think that and then find more things to change.  Anyway, would welcome feedback.

Brick

Poem, written 5 June 2009, revised 4 July 2009

eyelids of shops shuttered down
deflect even the gaze
not to mention the thrown brick, the thieving hand
the whole town
has arms crossed tightly across its chest

traffic lights flick from posh to derelict
as you move through the empty avenue
someone or two scurries past, clutching carrier bags
in both hands, eyes averted
evaporates at a side street

the flicker of butane illuminates a face
then just the ember glows
in the gloaming as the figure
turns to silhouette against a silver sky
that tarnishes by the minute

look for illumination, a spark in the eyes
and find only brittle smoke
smoke and mirrors, phantoms
that dissipate and slip away
leaving you standing alone
between shuttered storefronts
and broken brick